Penn and Teller: Two Morons Learn Martial Arts

Penn & Teller: Bullshit

In a recent episode of their hit Showtime series, stage magicians Penn Jilette and Raymond Teller warn viewers away from the universally fraudulent field of martial arts. Now a real expert martial artist rescues us from their half-baked debunkings.

For their own convenience, Penn and Teller divide the world of martial arts into three categories: traditional, mystical, and murderous.

Is This the Right Time to Hit a Woman?

Last Monday, police officer Ian Walsh observed a group of women jaywalking near MLK Way in central Seattle. He directed the women to his squad car, presumably to warn or cite them for breaking the law. They refused to cooperate.

One of the women, Marilyn Ellen Levias, decided to walk away instead. As Officer Walsh grabbed her, and the pair struggled, a crowd gathered to watch. Levias’ companion, Angel Rosenthal, shoved Walsh so that Levias could escape.

Officer Walsh responded by punching Miss Rosenthal in the face.

Why BJJ Sucked For Self-Defense

Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu is an excellent martial art for fighting competitions. After provoking a tussle with an angry redneck, BJJ student Joseph Guichebarou executes a takedown and mount with relative ease. If it were a tournament match, he could have proceeded to choke the man unconscious, or break a limb, or wait for a submission or a referee’s call.


Tapout – Cheezburger = FAIL
NSFW

But this was not a tournament match. It was a scuffle at an Austin Whataburger, with a dozen laughing spectators. And in taking the superior position, the BJJ artist had essentially painted himself into a corner.

Share Your Martial Arts Workout Playlist

Which songs are on your martial arts workout playlist? Here are a few more of my favorites, and other classic martial arts themed hits.

Alright cree
Mix up the yoga with the tai chi
Mix up the roots dem with the lychee
Strengthen up my back
Now ready fi whine she
When time me come the gal dem haffi cry cree…


Cree – T.O.K.

This is Krav Maga, Not Self-Defense

Two different perspectives on the same event, inspired by John Zimmer’s post on Kung Fu and self-defense…

One
Adira walked down the street, wearing a comfortable summer ensemble: tank-top, shorts, and flip-flops. Twenty yards ahead, she spotted two idle and suspicious men sitting quietly. To a Krav Maga expert of her status, they were no concern. She casually walked past them.

Suddenly, the nearest man lunged forward.