The tassel’s movement will confuse, distract and bewilder your enemies, maybe. Limited supply available.
Category: Martial Arts Humor
British Kungfu Hero Demonstrates Qinggong for BBC News
(Qing gong is the legendary Chinese Kungfu skill that enables masters to run up walls, and fly through the air.)
From Manchester, we bring you the unique Mr. Tony McCabe, a man who claims he can jump on hen’s eggs and human noses without breaking them…
BBC Nationwide
Tanuki: The New Official Mascot of Tai Chi?
Platypus: The Unofficial Mascot of MMA
Sporting a duck’s bill, otter’s feet and beaver tail, the platypus is considered by some to be the greatest combination of all animals.
Photo credit: striatic
While many Chinese martial arts take inspiration from animals—Tibetan Crane Kung Fu, Monkey’s Fist, Dragon Style, and White Ape Boxing are just a few popular examples—Tai Chi Chuan uses dreary references to binary arithmetic. Small wonder, then, that most people consider Tai Chi boring. It has a serious image problem.
To remain competitive with the thrilling spectacle of mixed martial arts, Tai Chi Chuan should adopt a provocative animal mascot. But what kind of animal best embodies Tai Chi’s unique qualities?
Becoming Batman an Achievable Goal, Researcher Says
Batman: The Dark Knight
Excerpted from Dark Knight Shift: Why Batman Could Exist—But Not for Long by J.R. Minkel:
Batman is the most down-to-earth of all the superheroes. He has no special powers from being born on a distant world, or bitten by a radioactive spider. All that protects him from the Joker and other Gotham City villains are his wits and a physique shaped by years of training—combined with the vast fortune to reach his maximum potential and augment himself with Batmobiles, Batcables and other Bat-goodies, of course.
To investigate whether someone like Bruce Wayne could physically transform himself into a one-man wrecking crew, ScientificAmerican.com turned to E. Paul Zehr, associate professor of kinesiology and neuroscience at the University of Victoria in British Columbia and a 26-year practitioner of Chito-Ryu karate-do. Zehr’s book, Becoming Batman: The Possibility of a Superhero, is due out in October 2008.
What’s most plausible about portrayals of Batman’s skills?
You could train somebody to be a tremendous athlete and to have a significant martial arts background, and also to use some of the gear that he has, which requires a lot of physical prowess. Most of what you see there is feasible to the extent that somebody could be trained to that extreme. We’re seeing that kind of thing in less than a month in the Beijing Olympics.
What’s less realistic?
A great example is in the movies where Batman is fighting multiple opponents and all of a sudden he’s taking on 10 people.
This is Zen, This is Not Zen
This is Zen:
Two hands clap and there is a sound. What is the sound of one hand?
This is not Zen:
Tazo Zen Tea (24 bags)
An enlightening blend of the finest green teas and rare herbs available in this world.
11 (Mostly) Painless Ways to Flatter a Martial Artist
I posed the following survey question to a group of martial artists:
What is the nicest compliment that anyone has ever paid your martial art performance? Or, if you can’t remember, then what compliment would you most like to hear?
Here are some of their answers:
The sound of tapping. ~Fraser
“For a fat guy twice my age…you left me in the dust” was the best one I ever got. ~Jerry
I get people telling me “you’re really good” all the time. Or “I always learn something rolling with you.” ~Trav
Steven Seagal Redeems Himself As Cock Puncher
Where did Steven Seagal go wrong? His early movies—Hard to Kill, Out for Justice, Under Siege—reinvigorated the action genre, with their breathtaking displays of no-holds-barred Aikido.
His next two-dozen films weren’t so well received, or so I hear. I didn’t watch them myself.
It wasn’t the thin plots or dull acting that eventually turned me off Steven Seagal’s work; it was his characters, or rather his character.
You Know What’s Stupid About Wing Chun Kung Fu?
For far too long I’ve sat idly by, twiddling my thumbs and respecting the right of others to form thoughts and opinions independent of my own, and I can’t take it anymore. I’ve got to speak up about the many things that annoy me or I’m going to go crazy. Take these new credit cards with the microchips in them, for instance. Man, those things really get my goat—trying to improve a device that was working perfectly fine as it was. Even worse are those wrappers on CDs that take forever to open. But you know what I hate the most? The one thing that makes my blood boil whenever I see it? Anything beyond my mental capacity, that’s what.
Chuck Norris and Google: The Facts
How do you think Google established their complete dominance of Web search? Superior engineering? Nope. Shrewd business strategy? Guess again. They have a secret weapon…
Chuck Norris built Google’s first data center from a roll of barbed wire, a pallet of lumber, and a side of raw beef. The barbed wire was just for snacking.
A recent Google Health survey has identified the three most common medical diagnoses in the United States: Chuck Norris’ Right Leg, Chuck Norris’ Left Leg, and Other.
Why Pretty Boys Avoid Taijiquan
Tell the truth, pretty boy. You don’t really care whether your martial art works on the streets. You just want to burn calories and build muscle, because that is what works on the beach.
So let me warn you: although Taijiquan can benefit your health, your physical appearance will pay the price.