Steven Seagal has long inspired controversy among his fans and foes alike.
Category: Martial Arts Humor
Mike Tyson: Quotes of Wisdom And Wonderment
On his opponents…
Frank Bruno: “How dare these boxers challenge me with their primitive skills? It makes me angry. They’re just as good as dead.”
Tyrell Biggs: “I could have knocked him out in the third round but I wanted to do it slowly, so he would remember this night for a long time.”
Lennox Lewis: “I’m coming for you man. My style is impetuous. My defense is impregnable, and I’m just ferocious. I want your heart. I want to eat his children. Praise be to Allah!”
“It’s ludicrous these mortals even attempt to enter my realm.”
Taiji Robot Showdown!
The advances in robotics over the past ten years are amazing to see. Every year, they get harder, better, faster, stronger.
It is inevitable that they will get tired of vacuuming our floors, and rise against us. Fortunately, nobody is teaching them how to fight…right?
Sony QRIO
If Street Fights Were More Like Final Fight…
Final Fight, a classic arcade game
[Play Flash version online for free]
Your name is Cody, and you have no past, only a backstory. Some street gang kidnapped your girlfriend Jessica, you are told, and you need to punch them all out in order to rescue her. Details are not important–just start punching!
The clock is ticking, literally. You have to reach the end of each gang-infested street before the timer reaches zero, or Jessica is finished. Unfortunately you never learned to run, much less drive a car, or ride a bicycle, or even take the bus. No, Cody, you never learned much of anything in your life: all you can do now is walk around, jump, kick, punch, and “special attack.”
Lucky for you, most of the Mad Gear gang attended the same inner-city schools.
Karate Chops Are Fun…Until Someone Gets Hurt
“Diamond Dave, The Kung Fu Hillbilly”
At Diamond Dave’s Ninja School, you’ll learn the difference between a Ninja chop, a Judo chop, and a Karate chop.
The Original Karate Kids Fight Back!
While the new Karate Kid movie earned surprisingly positive reviews from major media outlets, some fans of the original 1984 version are disappointed…
Johnny Lawrence, Cobra-Kai
Kung Fu Bear Will Defeat Your Entire Clan!
Claude the bear, from Hiroshima zoo
(Yes, it’s real)
Alluda Majaka, South Asian Wuxia Blockbuster
Alluda Majaka was the first Indian film in history to earn more than 2 million rupees. Starring Chiranjeevi–the Desi Chuck Norris–Alluda Majaka thrilled audiences with its gritty, no-nonsense action sequences.
Chuck Norris Gets His Facts Right?
Did you know?
In 1982, Chuck Norris was choked out by the famous Gracie Jujitsu family. A decade later, everybody started copying him. We now know this phenomenon as the UFC. (pg. 57)
On the set of “Walker, Texas Ranger,” Chuck Norris once took a live rattlesnake by surprise. Then he set it down on the ground, and grabbed it again. The director fleed the scene in terror. (pg. 2)
Chuck Norris is half Irish, and half leg. (pg. 20)
In the interest of full disclosure: I owe Chuck Norris a favor. It was by introducing his “facts” to the mainstream audience back in 2006, that I first established this blog as a premier source for martial arts humor, news, fact and opinion. As payback, he has kindly allowed me to review his latest book,
How to Defend Yourself Against Wild Animal Attacks
If you’re being chased by an angry bull, and then you notice you’re also being chased by a swarm of bees, it doesn’t really change things. Just keep on running.
How to Fend Off a Shark
Hit back. If a shark is coming toward you or attacks you, use anything you have in your possession—a camera, probe, harpoon gun, or fist—to hit the shark’s eyes or gills, which are the areas most sensitive to pain. The nose is not as sensitive as these areas.